"You have to wonder what he's thinking. So little time, so much to redistribute."
"..a campaign can require a lot of wardrobe changes. We -- blue jeans in the morning perhaps, suits for a lunch fundraiser, sport coat for dinner, but it's nice to finally relax and to wear what Ann and I wear around the house."
"I was actually hoping the president would bring Joe Biden along this evening, because he'll laugh at anything."
"And don't be surprised if the president mentions this evening the monthly jobs report where there was a slight improvement in the numbers. He knows how to seize the moment, this president. And already has a compelling new campaign slogan, "You're better off now than you were four weeks ago."
"Your kind hospitality here tonight gives me a chance to convey my deep and long held respect for the Catholic church. I have special admiration for the Apostle St. Peter, to whom it is said, "Upon this rock, I will build my church." The story is all the more inspiring when you consider that he had so many skeptics and scoffers at the time who were heard to say, "If you've got a church, you didn't build that."
"Second, find the biggest available straw man and then just mercilessly attack it.
Big Bird didn't even see it coming.
And by the way in -- in the spirit of Sesame Street, the president's remarks tonight are brought to you but the letter 'O' and the number $16 trillion."
"...now I never suggest that the -- that the press is biased. I recognize that they have their job to do, and I have my job to do. My job is to lay out a positive vision for the future of the country, and their job is to make sure no one else finds out about it."
"Of course, the economy is on everybody’s minds. The unemployment rate is at its lowest level since I took office. I don’t have a joke here. I just thought it would be useful to remind everybody that the unemployment rate is at the lowest it’s been since I took office."
"Ultimately, though, tonight is not about the disagreements Governor Romney and I may have. It’s what we have in common -- beginning with our unusual names. Actually, Mitt is his middle name. I wish I could use my middle name."
"Now, win or lose, this is my last political campaign. So I'm trying to drink it all in. Unfortunately, Mayor Bloomberg will only let me have 16 ounces of it. (Laughter.) That's okay, I'm still making the most of my time in the city. Earlier today, I went shopping at some stores in Midtown. I understand Governor Romney went shopping for some stores in Midtown."
"This is the third time that Governor Romney and I have met recently. As some of you may have noticed, I had a lot more energy at our second debate. (Laughter.) I felt really well rested after the nice, long nap I had in the first debate. (Laughter and applause.) Although it turns out millions of Americans focused in on the second debate who didn’t focus in on the first debate -- and I happen to be one of them. (Laughter.)"